Myriad Days

Early Years

Growing up, I was quite good at picking up new concepts and doing mental math. This meant I barely had to put in much effort in school. I remember my mother bragging about a time in the fifth grade when I prepared for the wrong subject and still managed to ace the final exam.

As things naturally grew more difficult, I was able to keep up with the bare minimum. However, when I was presented with tasks that demanded a great deal of effort, that was when I would begin to dismiss them.

When I realized that something required consistent work over a long period, I would think, “Do I even want it this much?”. That is likely why I never went far with my bouts of musical training and martial arts. I’m glad I gave them a go, of course. But I don’t think I wanted them enough to sit through hours of cacophony in my tutor’s room or to wrestle another kid after a tiring day at school (I might have already done that during recess).

I did have one thing going for me: sitzfleisch. If I was interested in a task, I could sit on it for hours and hours on end. This trait has stuck with me since kindergarten, through college, and now with my work. You know you’ve reached flow state when you are on another PR and you forget about lunch.

I remember, back when I first started programming, coming across a rather insane GitHub profile. It had so many contributions for almost every day going back years. Who could be that dedicated to their craft? Surely this person has no life…

A few years ago, while interviewing candidates for a position at Dotlas, one of them had a question, specifically for me. “How do you manage to make so many commits each day?”. I was flattered. I don’t remember exactly what I told him, but it was something along the lines of “just keep shipping”.

Throughout my journey I never paid attention to my own profile and how many commits I was making. When you just keep doing things, eventually, as you get better, you do more and more. Some stranger will find that impressive.

Funny how things come around.

Running Season

For the last 100 days or so, I’ve been going for a run twice a week. I decided to start running because I wanted to challenge myself.

When I was younger, I actually enjoyed running, but as I got older, I grew to dislike it. I would always think, “Why put in the effort? For what joy?”. I wanted to change this mentality.

Before embarking on this project, I needed to set some guidelines. I did have a concept of a plan: I would run for a shorter distance on Tuesdays and a much longer one on Fridays. I also got some solid advice from my more experienced friends:

• Start slowly. Most beginners make the mistake of going too hard too early. I know I did.
• Push past the spike. Your aim is to fight past the initial surge in your heart rate and that feeling of breathlessness during the first five minutes.
• Increase mileage slowly. Adding even five minutes each week can have a huge impact over many months. Who doesn’t love compounding?
• Invest in a good pair of running shoes. A cheap, flimsy pair will wear out before you do.
• Keep it fun. Running should be enjoyable.

I think I did a pretty good job following my ruleset and the advice given to me:

If you observe the trend of my heart rate during runs, you will notice that it got lower over the course of these three months. With each run my body got more efficient. I believe this applies to most tasks. Something novel and challenging at first can become quite simple after multiple iterations. The first time will always be the most difficult and awkward, but you get better.

One of the most psychologically demanding sessions was the 9km run on January 16. The track I frequent is roughly 2.3km one way, so a roundtrip lap is about 4.6km. I knew firsthand that I would be making two full laps to reach my target. In my opinion, the most taxing part of any run isn’t the physical toll, but rather the mental one. As I drew closer to completing the first lap, I started to question myself. “I’m already at 4k and I can walk back home once I reach the start. Do I really want to run another lap in this cold weather?”.

I wanted to stop there, go home, have a shower, and enjoy the rest of the night. Still, in the moment, I couldn’t help but feel like I would be letting myself down if I didn’t at least try to beat the urge.

Once I made the U-turn past the start sign, the fight was over. It is important to stay focused and not give in to the temptation of an early exit.

I can’t help but draw a comparison to the thoughts I have when I’ve been spending a lot of time on a certain task at work. Especially when tasks are open-ended, it can be very tempting to say, “I’ve already invested so much energy into this. I deserve a break”. In these situations, it is vital to know the difference between knowing when to rest and whether to rest. Are you satisfied with the work you’ve done today? Does it meet the personal standard you’ve set for yourself?

Without question, my favorite session was the run on December 16.

A slight drizzle had kicked up as I left home, headed to the track. As soon as I started the run, so did the rain. With each stride, amidst the mental effort it took to avoid a nasty fall, I couldn’t help but think that I was making a big mistake.

It was freezing (by Bahraini standards). I was going to catch a cold, surely? Did I really have to run today?

To my surprise, there were other lunatics out getting drenched. We would acknowledge each other with a smile while sprinting through the splashes. “Great weather for a run, yeah?”. How could I stop now? I literally had no choice. There was only one way back from the halfway point.

My heart was pounding. The sky lit up, followed by thunder. What are the odds of getting struck by lightning, anyway? They are still astronomical, right?

Before I knew it, I was already done with 4k; almost near the goal for today. Just 500m to go. I had already done that eight times over.

Finish. Downpour continues. Skip celebration. Walk back home. Shower.

When you’re done with a run, you’ve put yourself through intense work and all those brain chemicals come into play. Your heart is still pounding and you feel well-oxygenated. I believe I’ve found the answer to my earlier question. There is no joy quite like a post-run high.

That sense of euphoria is very similar to the state of mind I’m in when I’m done with a day of deep work. It doesn’t beat a fantastic call with a lead or the receipt of a client’s first payment, but it plays its part. Obviously, it isn’t a daily experience. Still, when it does happen, the day just feels right.

For Tomorrow

Sometime during the pandemic, I set a calendar event for today. I know, it is silly planning so far into the future. But hey, the 10,000th day of one’s existence comes just once a lifetime.

It would have completely slipped my mind if I wasn’t reminded of it during a random evening walk in October. I was conversing with a good friend of mine who shares my birthday, and I suddenly remembered I was approaching this milestone. With a quick check of the dates, I realized I had exactly 100 days left to plan something special. By the time I got home that night, I already knew what I wanted to do. I just had to set a plan and see it through.

Looking back, I know the October 2025 version of myself would be in awe of achieving this rather corny goal. April 2025 Kelvin would be ecstatic. However, as I sit here to complete this post, it doesn’t feel like a massive feat. “This guy really wrote a blog post over a 10k run? It’s not even sub-1 hour”.

I guess when you get used to a certain status quo, nothing about it feels special anymore. You just look for the next thing. Done with that massive task that was in your backlog for weeks? Great, what’s next?

Still, there is joy in constantly moving the goal post. You are choosing not to settle for where you are at, while appreciating what you’ve accomplished. It is a reward for a job well done.

Speaking of rewards, here is yours for reaching the end again. Another gem I discovered thanks to the FIFA soundtrack (15 this time). Not only is the title ironic, but the lyrics are especially apt today.

I don’t think I can ever consider myself “hard-working”. I know myself to be quite lazy, often looking for the most convenient way to solve a problem. Then again, this isn’t a label you give yourself, is it? Others hold that right.

In fact, I’m glad to be surrounded by others whom I consider hard-working. Family, friends, and all in between.

Still, I like to think I’m doing my best. Showing up every day. When the opportunity presents itself. That matters most.

I want to leave you with a quote from the man who has inspired new life into my favorite football club.

Success is not owned. It is only rented. You have to pay it every day.

Hansi Flick